Dating Advice for Men- Attracting Tips, How to Talk to Girls

Of course every man looks for different qualities in a woman, but I think every man can agree they want all these things.

What do all men want from a woman?

1. Respect.

This is the universal thing that men want from everyone, especially the woman who stands by his side. I would argue that men want this to a higher degree than they want love.

Even if you say you respect him, if your actions (talking bad about him to your family and friends) or your words (even the tone of your voice can convey disrespect) reveal otherwise, a man will feel disrespected. Ultimately, he wants you to think highly of him, his career, who he is as a man, his capabilities and his good attributes. Even though he is flawed, he wants you to respect him overall.

2. The feeling that they are needed.

Men don’t like needy women. They want women who have hobbies and other interests. A “needy” woman makes a man feel like she is banking on him 100% to make her happy and to make her dreams come true. She puts all that responsibility on him and does not own up to her own ability to be content and satisfied apart from him. That is TOOO much pressure on a man. He will run the other way. 

On the other hand, men want to feel needed. With your full life and many interests, men want to feel that they still matter. That their existence benefits your life, that you value their take on matters, their opinion, and that they’re not just taking up space in your home.

That’s why your buddy who secretly has a crush on you doesn’t mind fixing up your car, why your boyfriend loves it when you ask him about career choices or what you should say to your boss when you’re going to ask for a raise. He wants to be the one you turn to when you need help. He wants to feel like a hero, even if it’s in the smallest way.

Do you want an example of a man who felt obsolete in a woman’s life?

Go watch the movie, “Freedom Writers” with an eye on the relationship between the characters played by Hilary Swank and Patrick Dempsey.

He wants you to have your dreams, but he doesn’t want to feel like anything else is becoming a greater priority than he is. He doesn’t want to feel like if he left, you wouldn’t notice he was gone. If you don’t ask him about his life anymore, your thoughts are all centered around your life and your goals, and you don’t need him for anything, he’s going to start thinking, “Why am I even here?”

3. The feeling that they are wanted.

This kind of goes along with number 2. But feeling needed and feeling wanted are two different things. He has to feel like you need his abilities, his brain, his handyman skills, computer skills, cooking skills, or whatever else he brings to the table. But feeling wanted, this is the feeling that you actually enjoy his company and actually want to spend time with him. 

If you’re always acting like it’s that time of the month, being a complete bitch, and always irritated, he’s going to start wondering if it’s him causing your frustration.

If you’re a disappearing act, always wanting to spend time with your family and friends and making him feel like he’s the one you go to when no one else is available, he’s going feel rejected.

4. The security of knowing that their partner is loyal.

If he’s with you, he wants to be able to trust you. Pretty simple.

5. The companionship of a kind, affectionate partner.

Above all, what do men want from women? Men want your company. Everything you bring to the table: the way you believe, even when things look grim, the way you laugh at his jokes, the way you kiss him and the way he feels when you smile and play with his hair in the car. He loves your corny jokes, the way you are such a BAD loser but still super competitive. He loves how soft your cheeks are and the way you get grossed out by public bathrooms. He likes how he can tell you about his day and all he gets is an accomplice, a supporter, a fan. You don’t try to fix it, you just sit there and try to understand it. He’s happy and content to just come home to you and your smiling face, your ecstatic rush to the door to give him a tight hug. He’s content to just lay beside you on the couch and cuddle, warming up your always icy feet. 

Have you noticed I make no mention of beauty? Why? Because you are beautiful. You are woman, and some man out there thinks you’re exactly his type.

I wish women would just believe this, not settle for any man unless he is crazy about her.

Why?

Because if you settled for a man who is NOT crazy about you, just sorta likes you,

you could be one guy away from that man who just can’t get enough of you and everything you are, everything you do.

Yesterday I watched Mariah Carey’s Bio.
I must be pmsing, cuz can you believe it?

I cried!

I was so happy at the end when I heard Nick Cannon talk about her.

He is her dream man, because he is CRAZY about her.

And I was so happy for her because she had seen heartache and disappointment…

Listen to this, isn’t it sweet!?

Start at 3:45…

Your Nick Cannon is out there, ladies! Don’t settle for less!

To All the “Checklist” Ladies,

Hi, my name is Midori, and I’m a former “checklister.” When I was single and looking, I definitely had an idea of some very specific features of my dream man.

What Were Some Things on My Checklist?

He would be tall, know how to dance, and love to cook.

He would also be a nerd and smile a lot.

I married Nate, and he is short, doesn’t dance, doesn’t cook very often, not nerdy at all, and doesn’t smile a ton.

He did not meet these checklist items.

What I Got Instead

But I fell in love with him and all those silly items I had wanted, are in NO comparison to the kind of man Nate is.

Nate is the most selfless person I know. He is honest, kind, funny, laid back, doesn’t have the slightest of a temper, and is not a picky eater. He has the most amazing work ethic, and works hard at everything he does. He always finishes what he starts, buys only quality, and takes care of everything he owns. I’m so glad I’m his… because like everything else in his home, he takes amazing care of me. He is so considerate of me and others, always makes me feel like I’m his number one priority, and is understanding during that crazy time of the month all of us women know too well.

Nate is sensitive of my needs, but everything else about him is MAN. He knows his way around any tool, goes fishing and watches UFC. He can build anything, fix anything, and has great taste. He is a numbers wizard and wins at almost any game he plays.

And the most important thing is that Nate is loyal, and he makes me feel every day, that I’m the only woman in his heart. Sometimes he tells me, “I love you more than you’ll ever know,” and I believe him not only because he said he’d never get remarried if I died (I’m trying to convince him to rethink this), but because I can tell by all his words and actions that he thinks of me and considers me.

What I Learned from This

And ladies, the thought of me missing out on this man just because he didn’t meet some silly checklist items… gives me the most harrowing feeling inside.

I just want to encourage you to give every man who notices you a chance… (unless he seriously creeps you out)

… to have an open mind.

…and an open heart.

Cuz I’m telling you, we could all use somebody, and we don’t even know if that person we’re rejecting is exactly the kind of person we need. Nate makes me a better person all the way around. He is strong where I am weak.

Why Did I have a Checklist?

I thought I wanted a man who could dance, just because I love to dance, but all I needed was a man who wanted me to pursue all the things I wanted, who believed in my dreams and believed that I could do anything.

I thought I wanted a man who could cook, just because I love to eat. But I’ve noticed, I actually love cooking for Nate, we love sharing meals together, and we love eating out together. I didn’t need someone who could cook, I needed someone who’s company I loved and who was easy to feed.

I thought I wanted a tall man, but because Nate isn’t very tall, I really fit him like a glove. When we cuddle, it feels like we’re one. If you only date tall guys, you are really REALLY limiting your choices and missing out on some amazing men.

And nerdy? I don’t know why I wanted a nerdy guy. I guess I just wanted smart. And Nate is one of the smartest guys I know. He just doesn’t look or act nerdy at all.

Guys who smile a lot? I think it was just easier for me to trust men who smiled a lot. And it made me feel wanted, like they were smiling because of me. So, I really didn’t need a man who smiled a lot. I just needed a man who was trustworthy and who made me feel desired, and Nate fits the bill:)

This Song Reminds Me We All Just Need Companionship

Apart from all the things that Nate is as a person, he is my companion for life, and that makes all the difference. We can tell each other anything, and that is what keeps people from feeling lonely.

I never even liked this song below when Kings of Leon sang it, but this chick, Laura Jansen has the most perfect voice for this song. It really brought new life to it, and the simplicity of just the piano really makes it that much more beautiful.

We could always use somebody in our lives…

and ladies, we only know what we know.

So give him a chance. If we only say yes to what we know we want, we’re closing doors and missing out on opportunities to discover things we never knew about ourselves. Things we never knew we needed and wanted.

So you know I’m always promoting that men step up to the plate and make the first move when it comes to pursuing a woman.

I don’t want to leave you hanging because as you know, it doesn’t end there. There’s this fine line between your pursuit making you look attractive, courageous, confidently self-assured that you believe you have what it takes to make her happy….

and… creepy… stalkerish…

How do you differentiate between the two? Here are some ways:

Attractive Pursuer

Smiles a lot, looks you in the eye

Creepy Pursuer

Doesn’t look you in the eye a lot, doesn’t smile. Possibly has a blank stare.

Attractive Pursuer

Knows the pursuit is like a dance. The guy makes the move, anticipates her response.
You lead, she follows. If she doesn’t follow, your interactions with her include innocent flirting with no pressure for her to reciprocate.

Creepy Pursuer

Thinks the pursuit is just one sided. Doesn’t adjust based on the woman’s response.

Why it’s Important Not to Come Across as Creepy:

I think any guy regardless of appearance, income, personality, and IQ can win over the heart of a woman. All he needs is patience, persistence, and unyielding, unwavering single-minded devotion to ONE woman… Simple right? One caveat.

He has to offer all this without coming on as creepy.

Examples from My Girl Friends

I asked many of my female friends this question in a mass text message. LOL don’t you love those? (I’m being sarcastic)

First, being awkward or nervous is NOT creepy. Let’s just make that crystal clear.

Examine the difference between the examples they gave:

Inviting a girl to do things: persistent.

Pressuring her to do things: creepy.

Making your presence known: persistent.

Materializing out of nowhere and avoiding making conversation: creepy.

Calling when it’s your turn: persistent.

Too many voice mails. Too many phone calls (when she hasn’t responded): creepy.

Calling in the evening to wish her good night: persistent.

Calling late at night and not saying anything: creepy.

Writing her hand written letters: persistent.

Writing her letters in your blood: creepy.

OMG. I know. Did you cringe at that last one too??!! All of the above are actually stuff that guys have done to my friends!

Readers, do you have any more examples?