Chasing A Girl
Nov
21
Reader’s Question
Hey Doc,I need your advice. My issue involves a stunning woman named Jasmine. We met at a party three years ago. She couldn’t get enough of my attention and begged me to stay and talk with her all night. We dated for a while until she moved away from the area. When she moved back, we started dating again. I maintained Challenge the whole time and even ended our friendship when she disrespected me once. She apologised and promised to never do it again. Impressed with the integrity she displayed, I allowed our friendship to continue. This time, when we started dating again, she said she wanted to be my girlfriend.
Is She Still Interested?
Recently, when I ran into a couple of relatives while with Jasmine, I introduced her as my friend and not my girlfriend. This made her upset, and she accused me of not being in love with her or, for some reason, embarrassed by her. The truth is that I wanted to move slowly. Now she’s not calling me as much and has not even returned a couple of my calls. I know I’m not supposed to be calling her more than she calls me, so I’ve stopped after two unanswered calls.Doc, I feel Jasmine’s Interest Level has waned. What should I do to get it back up? Am I being overly macho by not chasing a girl? I don’t want to turn her off even more by being less of a challenge. Is she just testing me over some small issue?Please help me decide what to do.
Glenn- who can’t figure her out
Doc Love’s Response
Hi Glenn,You are indeed correct: The relationship is based on the woman’s Interest Level and nothing else. But what most men tend to do is confuse
their own feelings with the woman’s feelings. To you psychology grads, this is
called projection and has nothing whatsoever to do with the Reality Factor. What you didn’t realise, was that the outcome of your relationship with Jasmine was determined very early on, when she moved out of the state.
Like my cousin Eddie Love says, “If she really loved you, she wouldn’t have
moved a thousand miles away.” So right there this thing was dead in the water. When a woman decides to put a lot of distance between the two of you, she’s telling you something. Glenn, you weren’t listening to what Jasmine was saying to you. Now take a close look at what happened between you and this lady. First she moves out of the state, and then she comes back and disrespects you. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “Do you see a pattern here?” If you don’t, you should, my friend.
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